Divorce Recovery For Women - Inner Self - 5 Tips To Keep Your Inner Self Happy
Clear boundaries.
A few years ago, I discovered that my good friend stole some money from her ex-husband to purchase my car. She also took in my boyfriend and his children when we separated. I was upset, angry and hurt. Needless to say, I stopped being this woman’s friend. That is a boundary which I have stuck with.
Setting boundaries, also means not doing something when I don’t feel like it. This took me some time to get used to it, because I wanted people to like me. Now, if I need or want to say no to someone, I feel good about my decision because it’s what I truly want.
In the past, I’ve had to set a boundary with my X husband, the father of my children. He had recently separated and wanted to make up for lost time. He invited my brother and his family out to his place over the Christmas holidays and we all accepted to go. It had been over 20 years since my brother had seen him and we gratefully agreed to spend the night together.
I soon discovered that putting myself in those type of circumstances weren’t good for me, so I needed to set some boundaries and make them a part of my code of conduct.
Start small… set some boundaries and see how it feels. It will get easier as you become more confident and as you trust YOU more.
Follow your heart instead of your head.
By following my heart, I am true to myself and my inner self and this keeps my spirit happy. By being true to myself, no matter what, I have become stronger. This is difficult at times since we all have prior experiences which dictates how we act and think on a day to day basis, so the head does get in the way. As a dear friend of mine said “Tell you head, to mind it’s own business” and listen to your heart.
Live in the here and now
I also try, be it challenging at best of times, to live in the here and now. This can be
challenging, cause some of us may tend to think of prior experiences and compare ‘notes’, then get scared and want to run. Tell your head to stay away, so that your spirit can be free to be happy.
Journalling
Journaling is a very useful tool I started off by writing my thoughts and feelings daily and now I write when I need to. I also started to write articles and booklets and have found that quite useful to keep me on track. I don’t use the content of my journals for anything but to get in touch with my spiritual side. It helps me to process things, as does talking to some friends or being part of a self-help group for newly divorced or widowed people.
Letter writing
Letter writing is another way of doing this. Write a letter (this could be to an x boyfriend, spouse whether the lost occurred by death or separation) while expressing yourself fully. Don’t send it, don’t mail it, don’t do anything but throw it out once completed. You may consider making a ceremony out of it. Light some candles, burn some incense, and ask your higher self to take care of this for you. You will feel better.
And with your permission, I’d like to offer you free access to an article in my The Solution Lady’s Guide to Healthy Living.
You can download Start Your Day with Special K by going to http://www.myarticles.thesolutionlady.com/startyourday.pdf
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From Linda Robert - The Solution Lady and http://www.lindarobert.ca
Tags: divorce, relationships, self-care, separation
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